ICYMI: Anal toy play can be a ton of fun. But it can also be pretty intimidating for first-time players, which is why we dug up expert advice on how to get started – and how to have the most fun. Here’s what they suggest.
First, let’s take a moment to appreciate why butt stuff can be so great.
For starters, the anal region is rich in sensitive nerve endings that can make it a goldmine of pleasure. And because the tissue between the rectum and vagina is so thin, sometimes the pressure from the anus can stimulate the front wall of the vagina, where the G-spot is located. This makes it a surprisingly effective way to get that elusive G-spot stimulation. If you have a prostate, anal play can be a great way to target the “P-spot,” which is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and rectum in the male pelvis.
When it comes time to try the big A, experts recommend taking it slow and starting with a little finger or mouth play.
Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy mytoyfirst.com/sex-toys boutique Babeland, says relaxation is the key to enjoying anal play.” The rectum holds a lot of tension,” she tells SELF. “We naturally tense up when something new is introduced to that area. So if you’re feeling a little anxious about anal play, those muscles may be reluctant to open up to allow penetration.”
You can start by stimulating the outside of the anus with a finger or vibrating toy. External stimulation alone may feel good, so you can leave it alone, or continue to relax as you work your way to penetration.
If you’re with a partner, Finn suggests having them stimulate the area with their tongue or giving you a relaxing full-body massage before doing anything else. Let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t, and what sensations you’d like to explore further. Communication is key.
If something hurts, stop. Finn says anal sex shouldn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable. She also warns against using numbing creams.” Numbing creams [can temporarily dull] pain receptors, which is our body’s way of telling us something isn’t right,” she says.” If you continue to force your body through it trying to warn you that something is not right, you could be doing lasting damage to your body.”
And be sure to use lubricant.
Since the anal area doesn’t produce its own lubrication, using lube is a must-and according to Finn, saliva won’t cut it. Finn recommends using a thick, long-lasting silicon-based lube that reduces friction between the body and the toy and can also be used with condoms. Which brings me to an important point: If you share toys with your partner, or use both anal and vaginal toys, a new condom must be used between each new penetration.
But wait a minute! If you are using a silicone toy, then you must use a new condom between each new penetration. If you are using a silicone toy (some of the toys included below), you should choose a water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lubricants will erode silicone toys, which means you will have to replace them more often. You can still use water-based lubricants with condoms, and you’ll still have to replace your old condoms with new ones between insertions.
Ready to have fun? Here are 11 expert-recommended, customer-approved toys to try for your first anal play session.
You may notice that all of these toys have one thing in common: a flared base. This is intentional. Not to scare you, but it has the potential to get things lost in your rectum, which is why you should never use any anal sex toy that doesn’t meet this standard.
One last thing: Every toy has different instructions. Check with your retailer to see what the toy is made of, which lubricant it works best with, and how best to clean it.
Pfun Plug (Babeland, $95).
Toys with rigid curves, like this one, are excellent for targeting G- or P-spot action, Finn says. Plus, the flared base keeps the toy from getting lost where it shouldn’t.
Beginner’s Beads (Lovehoney, $13)
The beads on this toy start very small and then grow to 1 inch in diameter, so you have complete control over the intensity of penetration. lovehoney rep Sammi Cole recommends pulling the beads out as you’re about to climax to intensify the stimulation.” But do it slowly,” Cole tells SELF. “You’re not starting a lawn mower.”
Anal Explorer Kit (Adam & Eve, $30).
Adam & Eve rep Katy Zvolerin suggests starting with a small toy and then gradually moving up to something bigger, and what better way to do that than with a sex toy kit? This anal sex starter kit comes with a bullet vibrator and a multi-speed vibration probe, so you can play around with different sensations and see what you like.
Protouch Plug (Babeland, $50).
If you’re not sure how to start anal play, Finn says this toy is a great place to start. The plug’s vibrations will feel great whether you insert it or not, and the finger shape will help you target more sensitive areas. https://www.mytoyfirst.com/dildos
Booty Bliss Vibrating Beads (Adam & Eve, $20).
This anal bead wand is shorter and stiffer than other anal bead wands.